Report from the battlefield

Hi everybody I'm on the road, just quit for the night. I'm spending a long weekend playing single deck down in Tunica. Pretty good ride so far.

'm using SVUBZ (Simian-Variant Unbalanced Zen) on these games with a generous spread. Started out getting hammered, good God the dealer was catching so many hands I started watching for cheating.

Now I'm getting RO6 pen consistently until a relief dealer came in and started giving me RO5. Disgusted, I walked away from the table, only glad that all the RO5 did to me was shuffle away a bad count,then I got this crazy idea about using the Grifter's Gambit! I figure, I'm not getting any heat, so why not use it in combination with a spread? And much to my delight, I found that all dealers handle heads-up players playing multiple hands differently, some of them either treat an opening round of 3 hands like 1 hand, or forget that you played 3 hands after you go back to 1, and that by manipulating the number of hands I play per round I can vary the pen I get from effective RO5 to RO8!!! All with a big spread.

Now if RO7 is like having sex with Britney Spears, RO8 is like having sex with Britney and her mother. It's totally obscene, you're not sure what you're going to be doing, but it will definitely work and you will never forget it. It was awesome, and I was trying to get the dealer down as close to the end of the deck without running out of cards. OK I admit it, I was secretly hoping to get the dealer to run out of cards just so I can see what happens, but I know nothing good can come of that so I restrained myself. I got her down to 2 cards once. Got most of my money back, switched into my "Uncle Chuckles" act and switched stores, and got some more back.

Here's a weird but not unpleasant happening- I voluntarily provided my ID to a casino and subsequently banned myself from a store. Why would I do that? Well, I'll play some VP within view of the pit for cover (cover is needed for this type of game at my stakes). I put some money in a $1 full-pay Jacks or Better machine and guess what I got. Now I could walk out without the $4K jackpot or ID myself to the casino. Real easy decision, there are other casinos.

A couple of more good BJ sessions, a losing session doing something else, and it's quitting time. See you tomorrow.

Now you have to pay taxes!

Sucker!

Automatic Monkey said:

Here's a weird but not unpleasant happening- I voluntarily provided my ID to a casino and subsequently banned myself from a store. Why would I do that? Well, I'll play some VP within view of the pit for cover (cover is needed for this type of game at my stakes). I put some money in a $1 full-pay Jacks or Better machine and guess what I got. Now I could walk out without the $4K jackpot or ID myself to the casino. Real easy decision, ...

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I don't understand. zf

ZenFan said:

I don't understand. zf

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i didn't either at first. heh, heh i thought maybe the ole monk was losing it.
but i think what it was he had to fill the tax info out.

OK I admit it, I was secretly hoping to get the dealer to run out of cards just so I can see what happens

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if the dealer runs out of cards, encourage using the cards in the discard tray... unshuffled.

Automatic Monkey said:

A couple of more good BJ sessions, a losing session doing something else, and it's quitting time. See you tomorrow.

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am keeping teh intarweb tuned to this channel.

When the dealer got down to only two cards, did she begin to think that maybe something went awry?

sagefr0g said:

i didn't either at first. heh, heh i thought maybe the ole monk was losing it.
but i think what it was he had to fill the tax info out.

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You mean he blew off a 4k win to avoid the CTR?? zg

zengrifter said:

You mean he blew off a 4k win to avoid the CTR?? zg

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no, what i think is he took the 4k but what i don't get is why or how he was banned as a result

Report from the battelefield

sagefr0g said:

no, what i think is he took the 4k but what i don't get is why or how he was banned as a result

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He banned himself, not the casino banned him.

Is there any chance that NOT taking the jackpot could have bought him more attention than actually taking the jackpot? The bell does go off when you hit a Royal Flush (luckily I know from personal experience).

If he got up and left that $4000 the casino might have tracked him down before he left the casino. Because leaving a jackpot is such an unusual move it might have caused the casino to actually remember him more easily than just taking the jackpot. People win jackpots on a fairly regular basis, people don't walk away from a won jackpot EVER!!!

I wouldn't have turned down the $4000 either.

zengrifter said:

You mean he blew off a 4k win to avoid the CTR?? zg

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I don't see how that could ever be a good idea. You avoid the taxes, but you don't have the win!

I thought he blew off the 4k win because he would have to show his ID, and then they would find out that he was banned at this casino. I'm not entirely sure, but that's what I thought when first reading it.

I believe what he meant was that since he had to show proper id,he would no longer play BJ there as they could put a name and SS number to his face if they caught on to his being an AP.

shadroch said:

I believe what he meant was that since he had to show proper id,he would no longer play BJ there as they could put a name and SS number to his face if they caught on to his being an AP.

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Exactly, I blew town when that happened.

From what I've heard though, there are people who abandon jackpots on machines! They're self-excluded compulsive gamblers, who have signed papers agreeing that they will never receive any winnings at the casino, and they just run out when the bell goes off. Supposedly the casino is required to donate the jackpot to charity. (Anybody here believe they actually do that?)

Wow the game briefly went into MonkeySpace today! I literally emptied a chip tray. And they treated me like a VIP! Down the road, I gave half of it back to another store who thanked my for my contribution by expelling me, but it got it all back and then some at the next place. Pits are funny like that, how they treat you isn't all that dependent on wheter you win or lose, but how you play the game.

And I did have an encounter with a Real Pro in a casino! She came right up to me and asked me if I was staying in the casino and looking for something to do. I stood and talked to her for a while, just to make myself look like an a-hole in the habit of subscribing to that kind of traffic, then told her about the sheriff's deputies convention I was in town for.

Automatic Monkey said:

I stood and talked to her for a while, just to make myself look like an a-hole in the habit of subscribing to that kind of traffic, then told her about the sheriff's deputies convention I was in town for.

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as opposed to the incest convention?
/sarcasm

what kind of professional was she?

Mimosine said:

what kind of professional was she?

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Sounds to me like she was in the physical entertainment business!

Canceler said:

Sounds to me like she was in the physical entertainment business!

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A sexual AP! zg

Automatic Monkey said:

Pits are funny like that, how they treat you isn't all that dependent on wheter you win or lose, but how you play the game..

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Absurd. Try winning bigger amounts more quickly and see if you still believe that.

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Craps Master said:

Absurd. Try winning bigger amounts more quickly and see if you still believe that.

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Absurd that you would say absurd. Thats been my experience at all levels of action, up to max-bets of 2x$1000. zg

Now, monkey, let me ask you this:

If you were playing video poker in sight of the floor, that would imply that your reputationw as at least medium-to-salvageable at this joint. So, if you won a jackpot, what would be stopping you from going "woo-woo! I hit a royal! let's parlay this on some cards!" and gamble it up? Heck, the royal might have bought you some cover!

Alternately, if you were already concerned that you were dead to them, why would you have been bothering with playing VP?

Of course, I understand the stakes all too well: once you get caught with your real name, you can never use it again. But I still think you pussed out.