PLATFORM THE TRASH BARRELS
A lot of coupons and vouchers end up in the municipal trash barrels on the streets outside the casinos. You absolutely must maximize this rich and valuable source if you are to succeed. Unfortunately, image-obsessed casino towns have taken to emptying their barrels with such alarming frequency that the garbage rarely has a chance to accumulate. Instead of piling up in easily collectible mounds around the rim, the coupons fall to the bottom of the barrel, where they tend to degrade rapidly (and where you can’t reach them without an embarrassing head-first plunge). Platforming is the answer.
What you do is simple. First, identify the most profitable locations and observe their maintenance schedule. Then, just after the sanitation workers empty the barrels, you stuff them full again, with those promotional newspapers most casinos leave lying around. You don’t need to waste time and paper by filling the whole barrel; just wad up a good firm plug of Nevada Nite Life or Sports Form or Showroom Superstars and wedge it tightly into the container’s mouth. Now you’ve created a sturdy platform atop the otherwise empty barrel. Dress it up a little with some candy wrappers, a crumpled cigarette pack or two, and your private coupon collection center is ready to go.
Return later to sort through the now-accessible trash for vouchers and lucky bucks. If you want to avoid looking like a bum, act like you’re trying to throw something away that doesn’t quite want to go down (because of your platform, probably); meanwhile, mix the garbage around with a rolled-up newspaper, scanning for the good stuff. When you’re finished, push your platform into the barrel and brush most of the trash down after it, so as not to alert the sanitation workers (who, if you’ve timed your collection properly, will be along any minute). Wait until they leave, then put a new platform in place and move on to the next barrel.
SOFT PLATFORMING
If the idea of flagrantly subverting municipal policies upsets you, well, you might not have what it takes to live wild and free like Dog-Ass Johnny. But don’t despair; you can still enjoy the platforming experience with soft platforming. Instead of plugging the opening with a carefully wrought wad of newsprint, you just cover it up with a newspaper. Most people will still drop their trash on top of the pile where you can get at it.
Compulsively neat types and people with bottles or cups of liquid will reduce your profits, true, but in return, you get reduced effort and reduced detectability: you can apply the newspaper quickly and casually, plus you leave no concrete evidence of your intentions behind. And, whether plugging or covering, don’t worry about the paper falling in; the mouths of public trash barrels are always unnaturally small, because the municipal agencies that maintain them want to discourage potential depositors from the industrial and household sectors. Another big advantage for the alert coupoñero.
VISIT THE DUMP
Platforming is an advanced technique that requires a lot of energy and endless diligence. If it proves to be more than you can handle, don’t give up; you still have a shot at those coupons. First, you have to find out where they empty the trash barrels. A call to the local Department of Sanitation will usually do the job -- tell them you accidentally threw away some important papers. Then visit the dump and pick through the garbage at your leisure. This is an especially apt tactic for the elderly and physically-infirm, who can go through a large volume of material without a lot of walking around.
While at the dump, be sure to take care of the attendants. Like dealers at a blackjack table, these people can make you or break you. If you’re able to establish a close working relationship with an attendant, you’ll have a valuable ally who will direct you to the richest plots of garbage, tip you off when an especially promising load comes in, and even skim some of the premium stuff for you on his own. Don’t let self-respect stand between you and this important resource. You’ll find the Reno Dump at 63029 Wasatch Flats Road, about ten miles southeast of the airport. Ask for Ernie.
