I hate it when the dealer-
1.) Thinks he knows how to play, then proceeds to give out sh** advice. "You shouldn't split your eights against my ten. You want to lose twice"? "Surrender is for suckers. It's a house bet". "You want to hit that Ace/Seven against my nine? You have eighteen!" "Always take even money. It's the only sure bet in the casino". NOTE: This will also be the same dealer that brags to you how much money he wins playing BJ in other casinos. (He's also more than willing to share his immense gambling knowledge and his winning strategies for beating Spanish 21, the Big Wheel, and what numbers are "way overdue" on roulette).
2.) The dealer who appears to take personal satisfaction in killing the table, like it's a competition between him and the players, and it's "HIS" money in the rack. (Although if you listen to him, he only makes the equivalent of a Chinese factory worker. 12 cents an hour).
3.) "Assumes" your action on a hand before giving a signal, passing you by, and having to yell "hey, hold on, I'm hitting this"!!!. EX: Going right by you and on to the next player when you have soft 18 vs a dealer 10, assuming you are standing. Many of these dealers are also Speed Racers, dazzling you with their lightning fast dealing abilities, so you have about 3/10ths of a second to make a decision before he assumes what you want, and moves on to assume the next player's hand. Extremely hyperactive. This would be the guy you can picture dancing on a table with a lampshade over his head at your cousin's wedding.
4.) Dealers that "fake" having a BJ. He's a real hoot. About as much fun as having your partner "fake" it. (usually likes to combine this fun play with #2 above).
5.) Dealers that cry about how underpaid they are. aka "Toke Hustlers"
(Well, if you started paying me on a few pushes, maybe I WOULD tip you..... Nah, who am I kidding).
6.) "Thrilled To Be Working Here" award winners. Bored, slow as hell, silent, scowl faced, yawning, no personality, monotone, and generally doing you a big favor giving you cards and scooping your chips. (Bueller?.... Beuller?.... Beuller?.....)
7.) Asian dealers, when you're the only English speaking person at the table. Everyone's all yukking it up in Chinese, laughing, and then they all suddenly go quiet and glance over at you. (I swear they're all making fun of me, the bastards).
7.) Midget dealers. I haven't actually seen this one, but I would hate it if I did. Can you imagine how long it would take to shuffle an 8 deck shoe with those tiny hands?
