Here are some (harsh) words from JG that I thought were relevant to the discussion at hand:
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The Five Deadly Venoms
OK, enough is enough. I admire the effort, especially if it was motivated by the Good Book, but you guys are really schmucking things up. You guys are ruining a LOT of games across the country by getting too low, staring too obviously, and generally looking pathetic. Just because you're betting small, or using a player's card, doesn't mean you will go unnoticed. You're now playing the game within a game. More than beating the cards, you must beat the dealer; i.e., you need to seem nonthreatening to the dealer, to prevent the dealer's tightening up. I KNOW of numerous dealers nationwide who have self-corrected as a result of the pathetic attempts of rookies (6 months does not qualify as "experienced") to see. The reason this post is bitingly critical is because it's RIDICULOUS how bad you guys are, and perhaps don't even realize it.
While the Good Book mentions ruses that some players use (feigned drunkenness, sleepiness, handicap), these are not recommended. They are all unnecessary, pathetic gimmicks.
If you need to resort to any of these gimmicks, you shouldn't be playing that particular game. Here is a list of five of the common, WRONG ways to go about this. If you are doing any of these things, you're doing it wrong:
1. Crouching Tiger. You scoot the chair back and then lean way forward with your head REALLY low. It's ridiculous. If an anvil falling from the ceiling can hit your butt or back, you're doing it wrong.
2. Drunken Master. You pretend to sip from your drink at the critical moment. Of course, why you have to hold your drink by the rail, unable to lift it to your face, is a mystery older than Stonehenge. When you first thought of it (or its cousin--at the critical moment, pretending to pick up and peek at your own cards as you duck your head), it probably seemed like a clever idea ("It'll just look like I'm sipping from my drink--totally natural"). Trust me, it's neither an original idea, nor a good idea. If you're using a drink as a prop, you're doing it wrong.
3. Cobra Style. You lean way back in your chair, possibly even tipping it onto its back legs, and sway as each card is dealt. If an anvil falling from the ceiling can hit your crotch or stomach, you're doing it wrong.
4. Flying Eagle. You sit back in your chair and put your knees up braced against the rail of the table. While this position is sometimes comfortable when flying JetBlue, it has no place in the casino.
5. Wounded Dragon. You use a wheelchair. It's ridiculous. A wheelchair draws attention, restricts your mobility, sometimes restricts which seat you may play at the table, etc. Whether or not there is a legal issue is secondary to the fact that using a wheelchair is a lame move.
If you are doing it right, an anvil falling from the ceiling will hit your head. I mention this because I'm about to start dropping anvils from the ceiling on you guys.
The other risk of using any of these weak methods is that other GAMBLERS are likely to pick you off. A boss may come and watch a hand or two (during which time you should not attempt to go for it AT ALL), but the other players are a threat on EVERY hand, all night long. If those players pick you off, they are a huge danger. They might rat you out to the boss or dealer, they might extort you, they might try to do what you are doing (and they, too, will look pathetic trying), they might tell others, they might lock up seats you need in the future.
I don't take issue with experts killing games by destroying them with huge wins. But I definitely take issue with the WASTING of games by players who should know better.
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Spaw